1. |
First Epitaph
06:02
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first epitaph
my solitude was holy
then I peopled it with demons
my father was calling but
I gave him the wrong number
are you lonely, ask yourself
are you angry, or are you holding out
my closest friends were only, I realize now
my closest friends were only
trying to save me from myself
I kept my mother waiting for a call on her birthday
if I had angels they were weeping, from high above
if I had angels they were weeping and I swore it was laughter
who was that there picking up the hair
the hair that i pulled out and
who am I, all the time in the world
and no lies to tell myself
my apologies to the academy of strangers
my apologies to mary
all the sermons that I left in the trash
I never threw out, I knew one day I’d be back
all the lyrics that I buried in the tracks
but never threw out for fear of being found out
all the eyes staring out of the uncarveable sky
indecipherably unalone I knew I’d
make peace with the journey of the self
before time runs out
gone is gone
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2. |
Body Like a Drone
03:52
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body like a drone
plan it out plan it out
your war is coming
taste its sweat in your mouth
god made us hungry
and it’s only just begun
feast yourself on the skin of your prize
judge is here but he won’t preside
and it’s only you and me
yeah you know you want it
yeah your crazy never alone
yeah you know you want even more
yeah your crazy never full
bury myself alive in your native land
so I can be reborn in my native land
breaking my back in the name of a home
if my heart had an army to stop what it wants
if my heart had an army to stop what it does
that still wouldn’t be enough
that still wouldn’t be enough
that still wouldn’t be enough
yeah you know you want it
yeah your crazy never alone
yeah you know you want even more
your body like a drone
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3. |
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talking about love
sick of waiting on my brother to learn how to walk
sick of praying for the sidewalk to hold him up & it never will
ma, remember when the siren used to sound, my heart once gave a fuck
now i live in the same city as my sister & you know that we never talk
think of leaving for a pack of smokes & catching the bus & how cliché it is
meanwhile Jimmy’s in the backyard beating the kids & the dogs get out
we embarrass ourselves in a notebook from ten years past, we say “it is what it is”
picture us kids of the stoop, saying “one day we’ll be bigger than this”
how could I forget that anna is dead when just yesterday I saw her ghost
as we watched the bird-swells up & down the coast holding hands
in the way the waves crashed & we were the least drunk we’d ever been (I still say a life lived)
now the silence has us questioning if this is someone special at all
how little it’d have cost us
to have meant more to one another
how little it’d have cost us
to have held on to the tethers
little powder in the palm
little money on the floor
sweaty prayer for Solomon
who could keep a perfect heart
for the kingdom of each other
the metro tickets blowing in our faces while we fight
& the pillow still warm from the night before
what we talk about when we talk about love
what the mouths are mouthing in the photographs
what we feel when the walls start punching back
what we talk about when we talk about love
what we talk about when we slam the door
what we talk about when we borrow a stranger’s phone to make a call
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